i sit here contemplating the events of late & i don't know whether or not i should laugh or cry, whether or not i'm going to be physically sick with disgust towards humanity or whether i should get pissed off to the point of wanting to kill 'em all...
all i know is that time goes by too fast and that no one truly cares about anyone unless there's something in it for themselves... 'tis the way of the world i guess 'cuz if compasion truly did exist, i don't think we'd know what to do with it anyway...xxx
dedicated to Bryan O, R.I.P
Yeah!! I'm thankful for what I have. I may not be "Martha fucking Stewart", but I'm grateful regardless. I may need reminding sometimes, a certain constant glorification, but that comes from living with an insecurity I was instilled with as a girl... Years ago I would never have dreamed any of this was possible for me.
It's just when you're headed wrong way down a one way street, you almost never, or rarely anyway, do a U-turn before you hit the dead end...
It certainly isn't easy becoming a better person. Change can be hard & slow coming.
But I know now, that as long as there's a crack, the light can come in. And if you begin by seeing how lucky you are, only good can come of it. Sure , there are still times when I still want what others around me have. However, there are others around me whom want what I already have, in abundance...........................xoxo
God help me!!!!
If I can just get through this morning without strangling him, I'll have become a bigger & better person... Lots of patience. Patience. Patience. Patience is a virtue I never did posses. Take a deep breath & exhale, over & over & over again...
I thought love would be enough. Love I have a shit load of. Where the hell does this defiance come from?? Need I ask??? The fruit of my loins.
So tiny and already such an attitude, have we doomed you or empowered you??
Sometimes I'm not good enough. Sometimes I don't deserve your love. You who looks up at me with your sparkling eyes & sees his world, his everything...
I wish I were perfect for you. I know you think I am. You who I would lay down my life for without thinking twice... So sorry I can't be perfect.........
Please help me to better understand your needs. PLease help me to better provide for them. Please remind me to breathe.................................................xoxo
